As I continue to reflect, a full year into a global pandemic ….and things begin to open again, I think of THE CHANGE. I think how I have changed, we all have changed!
Trauma does that to a person. And, collectively, we have experienced trauma. I define trauma here as “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.”
No one escaped unscathed from the pandemic. Each of us has experienced our own form of prolonged stress the past 365 days since COVID hit in early March of 2020!
Here’s what I know: sweeping issues/trauma/hurt under the rug DOES NOT WORK!
Most people think if they ignore trauma, or suck it up, it will go away. False. It only gives trauma an opportunity to go underground and run your life, like a silent computer virus in the background of your mind.
We MUST acknowledge and heal trauma, hurt, and pain in order to move on healthily and FASTER!
The trauma you have undergone this past year is not new trauma. As your feelings of safety, security, and well-being were threatened, deeply buried old traumas emerged. They are disguised as irritation, procrastination, self-sabotage, fogged in a lack of clarity, and cloaked in low-grade stress. They are often masked by smoking, excessive alcohol usage, or over-eating, over-spending.
There are big implications to this as we begin our emergence into the new normal.
These same old traumas are going to hold you back, keeping you in mental lockdown.
In fact, they have been blocking your potential for years now and as we go forward into more change, they are going to keep rearing their ugly heads to be healed.
Once and for all.
When it comes to trauma, one size does not fit all. No two people are alike. You and I could both witness the same event and what might scare the bejeebers out of me, may simply give you a rush of exhilaration. The responses we have to an event depend upon our genetic make-up, individual trauma experiences; even our family dynamics can come into play.
There is a myth that trauma is a result of a single devastating experience like being a victim of an attack, severe abuse, or a catastrophic accident. Research shows that a series of seemingly minor mishaps can have an equally damaging effect on a person. More recent research is strongly suggestive that intergenerational trauma can affect people. You may not have experienced trauma yourself, but may experience a trickledown effect from trauma experienced by your ancestors.
For this reason, I sincerely believe everyone can benefit from doing a three-month healing trauma program. I’ve seen trauma impact us in ways that may not show up for years. Or in ways, we do not recognize as we avoid certain people, situations, places, achievement of goals, and feelings allowing our subconscious to protect us from the unknown.
The result of this unconscious response to unknown trauma is a loss of vitality and potential to forfeit our dreams and fulfill our full potential.
One particular case comes to mind. A salesperson was referred by his company for “call reluctance”. The sales manager had tried all the sales motivation strategies that seemed to work for other people, but they had failed with this man. His sales manager thought hypnosis might help.
Each time Jim (not his real name) sat down at the telephone his stomach did flip-flops, sweat dampened his shirt, and if someone answered the phone he would begin stuttering. He was perplexed by the whole reaction since he had previously been highly successful in sales at another company.
As we explored his previous job, I discovered during that time, Jim had been the top salesperson for several years in a row. At a company convention where he was recognized for his accomplishments, his wife told him she was leaving him after 17 years of marriage for another man. He suffered huge emotional trauma going through a nasty divorce where he was literally taken to the cleaners financially (money trauma).
Jim was now very happily remarried to a woman he felt “blessed to wake up with”. Things, as he described them, couldn’t be better. He had recently landed a new job with great commission potential and a huge bonus opportunity. He and his wife would soon be celebrating their 17th wedding anniversary. Need I explain the rest?
It was not an obvious connection for Jim, since his first marriage seemed so far in the past. But his subconscious mind remembered. Not only that, but it also remembered the time at age seven when he won a prize in a mutton-busting competition at the county fair. He was seven years old and was so proud of his trophy. His father took the trophy away from Jim for “being too full of himself about winning” and threw it in the trash.
Big or small, trauma doesn’t have to be a life sentence. It will present many opportunities to be healed before it affects our habits and attitude toward life. COVID is a collective trauma. Recovery will take a while. Meanwhile, our 2020 can trigger traumas from the past, even generations past, or be one more trauma we add to the stack of our individual collections. It can simply be something that gradually undermines our self-esteem, self-confidence, feelings of well-being, and connection to life if left to be swept under the carpet.
If you need help with the anxiety of re-emergence or the little traumas that stacked up during lockdown, or a hidden trauma keeping you from your brilliance, talk to me.
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